10 Reasons Why I HATE Braces
1) Food gets stuck in between my braces and take forever to get yanked outta there. I have a whole box of tooth picks at work for this reason. Food doesn't taste as great after it's been mushed up in between those brackets, trust me. Hey, I'm not going to spit it out while sitting at my cube, that's just rude.
2) When I smile with my teeth showing, 12 years are instantly taken off my age.
Mouth closed, "Hi, I'm Anne." Smiling with teeth, "Hi, I'm 14."
3) When I do try to smile with my mouth closed so my braces won't show, I look like a damn duck.
It's like, "Hi, I'm Anne the damn duck."
4) One time I ate some curry and it turned the rubber bands around my braces yellow so every time I smiled, you could see a full mouth of yellow. I tried to think of a lie and tell people that I chose yellow as the color of the month, like how some people choose red and green for Christmas, but I figured people wouldn't be stupid.
They'd be like, "Ha, you're a liar! You just have yellow teeth!"
Then I'd be like... "Damn it! They figured me out."
5) Sometimes the wires cut the inside of my lip and give me the worst sores in my mouth. I would use anbesol for the sore constantly all day, but since I have to keep my mouth a certain way for the medicine to kick it, I start drooling like an idiot.
6) When I first get my braces tightened, I can only eat soup or mushy stuff because they hurt! I get mad when the family wants to go out and eat steak or baguette sandwiches or spring rolls or... you get the hint, aiite.
I become a drooling idiot again just watching them eat their nice juicy steaks and I'm eating my baked potato. LOVE baked potato, by the way, but it's like... "Hi, I'd like to order the steak and potatoes, hold the steak."
7) I have to try to drink everything with a straw so that my teeth won't stain. See reason 4 for why I don't want to stain my teeth.
8) I have to make appointments and go to the orthodontist. I'm always the only one with work clothes on instead of school gym clothes. It makes me feel like an adult midget because half of those kids are double my size. The only way you can tell they're kids is how they are dressed, the zits on their face, and the parent sitting next to them. Oh, and did I mention because they have braces on? Hence, reason number 2.
9) If you have to pay for them yourselves, like I did, braces will subtract about $5,000 from your bank account.
10) Repeat reasons 1 through 9.
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